Man About Sex

It’s never been a secret that women are conquered by words, whereas, men are fond of … visual effects. And, as the world of sex is so vivid and diverse and men’s imagination, in what concerns erotic scenes, is SO… spontaneous, artistic, wicked, well-developed and everlasting, there are plenty of “mental disorders” that can excite the horny mind of a man. To count them all down will take hell of a time, so, let’s take the most popular situations that can inspire a man to… LOVE.

Men adore looking and examining a woman’s body. They do it in any situation and with any occasion when they see a slender, gorgeous and beautiful female body, no matter whether they see it on a pin-up poster, in magazines, on the beach, or just waiting in the queue line on a promotional ad. Immediately as they spot one, everything around them stops and they start to stare… examine… and imagine what they would do with it. And nobody can change that, especially women. So, let’s have a look on WHAT MEN LIKE MOST OF ALL…

… first of all, men go crazy when they see to women caressing each other. Lesbian sex for men is like two new purses for a woman. They love it. WHY? Because, if we take into consideration their primitive moral origins and basic animal instincts, they regard it as a “fight” between two representatives of the opposite sex, where the winner take the big prize – HIM, the one and only. From the other side, the side of mere and modern egoism, while watching two women kissing and playing with each other, men picture themselves the eventually potential threesome.

Secondly, a man loves his woman to be active. They like to experiment in the bedroom and discover more and more kinky aspects of sex, his partner and intimate relationship as a whole. Everything new in sex instantly turns them off! Those women, who can surprise, thrill and, in some cases, shock their partners during sex and, at the same time, enjoy it themselves, are able to make their partners forget about other women and live a life full of love, harmony, respect and wonderful sex.

The toys! No matter how old is a man he will always be attracted to “toys”. Men are like grown-up kids and you know it perfectly well yourselves – either it is a splendid super sport car, or a new version of his favorite PC game, or just a trivial Mickey Mouse puzzle, or… a sex gadget – is more than enough to get a man’s attention. Adult sex toys can also be attributed to the previous category, where a woman is supposed to surprise her man. Showing him that you’re open to anything kinky and spicy, will make him forget about anything he was before busy with reset his mind on crazy sex.

And, of course, men love being praised, no matter whether they deserve it or not. In the morning, tell him how incredibly amazing he was last night and you’ll see the effect of these words in the evening of the same day. Flowers… candles… romantic music and… another sleepless, however, so delightful night…

PS: There’s nothing more price than information. Now, using these tips, you can make your relationship even more happier!

God bless you all!

Now, if you have ever asked yourselves: “How on Earth the ancient romans were paying prostitutes for their services?!?!?” – here comes the answer to the enigma that has been torturing your lustful and fragile mind for quite some time.

PS: Now, if you have ever asked yourselves: “Where the bloody hell are the I, II, VIII, IX coins… and all the rest of them?!?!?” – go ask the archaeologists.

One love… and a lot of “money”!

Sex – very often it seems that we know every little thing about it, nevertheless, every single time we come across an intriguing and piquant headline, that has at least the slightest correlation with the taboo topics, we get excited. And, in case the subject is one that has been chasing us for quite some time, we start reading the whole article without any hesitation.

Scientists from all over the world keep their researches alive, in what concerns the intimate part of our lives, paying no attention to how much time and money they’re going to invest till they get the answers to their, and ours as well, eternal “love questions”. That being said, I suggest we start our quick, however, so captivating trip through the top 10 sex secrets about men and women, which will spread light to some of the dark corners the intimate aspect of our lives and, who knows, enlighten your minds to start our own investigations.

Men are complicated too

Plenty of sex therapists, mass-media sources and even men themselves consider “males” to be the most uncomplicated and elementary organisms in the whole galaxy, especially when it comes to sex. The hypothesis, which says: “Male sexual needs are as complicated as a 2-piece puzzle. They turn on extremely quick and easy, and to satisfy a man is piece of cake, just like throwing a bone to a starving barking dog.” – still live in some of our minds. However, there are a couple of evidences proving that men are also “breathing things”, their construction is a little bit more complicated and supposes more than just a stomach and a penis for a happy life.

1. The more testosterone a man has got, the less sex he can get

I know, all the roamers have been telling you quite some other fairy-tale and to be more precise: “A high level of testosterone guarantees a man greater sexual excitement… and blah-blah-blah…” – but still, I have to disappoint some of you as recent researches show some rather vice-verse statistics.

American scientists claim that single men abstain from sex 20 times more often and generally get less sexually excited. And, guess what, a huge percentage amongst single men have a higher level of testosterone. Besides that, as it also turned out, such type of men more frequently get divorced and less frequently get married. More than that, they tend to be more aggressive with their partners and can really make a whole career on the “Family Violence” chapter. (Oops… did I say it aloud?)

2. Sex – serial killer with a baby face and… great ass

Investigating death accidents during sex, scientists came to the conclusion that such cases are more likely to happen to married men, having sex with someone else rather than their legal wives. Lethal cases are also accompanied by heavy dinners and an impressive quantity of alcohol.

The results of another research share with us even more interesting facts about fatal sex accidents. As it turned out, 14, out of 20, of such cases happen exactly at that very moment of sex, when the man is in the middle of the whole fun.

3. Orgasm… or to be more precise, the lack of it, leads to chest cancer!

In 2000 Greek scientists made a phenomenal discovery, bringing in front of the entire world evidences that the frequency of orgasms for a man can diminish the risk of chest cancer or/and stop the development of cancer cells. Thus, the researches displayed that patients who were suffering from such an extraordinary for the mankind disease, as chest cancer, have experienced less orgasms than those who’re experiencing it on constantly.

4. The penis dimensions of a man can be easily predicted by the size of his fingers

At this very chapter the British scientists were those who draw the parallels between the ring finger and penis sizes. As it turned out, this correlation directly depends on what quantity of testosterone the embryo got during the fetal development. The higher is the level of testosterone the longer is the penis.

If ring finger of a man is longer than his index finger, it means that during the fetal period he has received a proper amount of hormones. In case the ring finger is shorter than the index one or their lengths are almost equal than it is an evident visual proof that testosterone level is lower. Thus, knowing such information, a woman can easily guess the penis size of her potential sexual partner.

5. Lower sexuality level for “family guy”

It seems these scientists never sleep…

So, according to the researches American scientists in 2001, men who are more attached to their families have a lower level of testosterone. Moreover, its level staggeringly decreases when the child is born and in those delightful moments when the father is carrying the child in his arms.

Most probably, the Mother Nature had taken care of a harmonic family life in a relationship in her natural way, as after the child birth he, the man, automatically switches to the well-being of his family, less and less thinking about flirting with other women.

Mystery of women

Women… enigmatic creatures for all the times, even if we leave aside their sudden changes of mood and spontaneous desires to start a new diet. The female body still has plenty of things to say to the men’s world and sex scientists, based on new technologies, approaches, researches and personal male interest bring more and more interesting and stunning facts.

1. Wet-dreams… women have them too

When it comes to such a delicate topic as wet-dreams, many people ironically think that it can happen exclusively to men. However, recent researches prove that females are also capable to experience sexual pleasure during the night time without stimulating their most sensible and sensual erogenous areas.

Just like men, women can also get rather excited by simply transmitting erotic signals from the brain to the body, thus, becoming sexually aroused and able to experience a real orgasm, without carrying the intension for that.

2. The sperm – an effective antidepressant!

Forget about the whole bunch of artificial antidepressants, my dear friends, but sperm. Sperm will replace them all for the rest of your life! This time the Big Apple scientists came up with a surprising announcement, which says that according to the results of their experiments, those women whose partners were not wearing a condom during the sexual intercourses, cope easier with stressful situations and are less inclined to fall into depressions.

Specialists came to the conclusion that those hormones that are “invading” the female body together with sperm, are rich in particles that can cheer up a woman bring her back to a harmonic way of living.

3. Body smell directly depends on what you’re eating!

During those passionate moments of sex, when the male partner decides to give his partner some oral pleasure, many of women start to get uncomfortable, and even nervous, becoming extremely concerned about… their smell. It is absolutely important for a woman to know and feel that her natural smell excites her sexual partner, making him, in a natural way, willing to have sex. Leaving aside all the rude jokes about the smell of female genitals, experts claim that vagina smell directly depends on her alimentation.

Another source claims that “the smell” depends not only on women’s alimentation, diets, pH factor of her vaginal eliminations but also on the phases of her menstrual cycle. However, such products as asparagus and garlic can provoke a disgusting smell and, on the other hand, such fruits as lemons, oranges, grapefruits or/and pineapples can cause a very delicate and nice fragrance.

4. Ovulation makes a woman more attractive

If you divide our body into two symmetric parts, you could easily observe that these two parts are not ideally matching. Thus, one of the eyes is wider than another, or one shoulder is lower while another is higher, or one of the breasts is bigger and so on and so forth.

Somehow, unconsciously, a human’s attention is always attracted by natural symmetry. It is hard to believe but female features become more visually symmetric during her ovulation period. However, there’s also the flip side of the coin, with ages the asymmetry of a woman’s body become more and more obvious.

5. Breast feeding provides sexual pleasure

It is a well-known fact that stimulation of nipple of a young mother increases the level of oxytocin (hormone of pleasure). This process, besides contributing to milk forming, also helps reducing the uterus/womb size after giving birth to her child.

Moreover, in some cases mothers have to take a short break in breast feeding and take the toddler away from the nipple, as they experience sexual pleasure. Breast feeding also increases the level of prolactin hormone, which increase sexual appetite for a young mother.

That will be it for today. Wishing everybody a funky weekend!

Welcome to the butterfly times!!! The times when everyone’s changing partners just like a butterfly’s flying from flower to flower…

Don’t tell me, my dear, you’re still blushing when you come across a kissing couple in the street and take your glance away like you’ve just seen a hooker giving a blow job in public on a park bench. All the “super hot” scenes from the “9 ½ weeks” got dim and obscure just like the color of your grandma’s wedding dress, otherwise, just like the lovely features of Mickey Rourke’s portrait (now I can see the sable look on your face). Times have changed since then, so, if you’re looking for truly deep and emotionally amazing pleasure from a relationship or just casual sex – get your sexual software updated.

This article over here is meant to spot the most notorious foes of your sexual well-being, get the proper remedy and, also, have a little fun all together discovering elements that are holding us back from phenomenal love-making.

The freaking complexes (dwelling inside each and every one of us)

Sex and complexes are two elements that CAN’T go together – that’s what every sex expert going to say. Moreover, you don’t have to pay visits to any of the so-called sex experts or love therapists to figure out that your sex life is not quite the way you wanted it to be… and it’s all because of the bloody complexes that keep buzzing you every time you’re planning a romantic evening and night. As soon as you jump onto the bad you’ll start recalling all the ugly things your mother has been telling you about sex. Then, in your memory pops your dad’s masturbation threats (son, if you masturbate way too much then all you’re gonna get are… hairy palms!!!) or condemning looks of your neighbors. Screw them (I mean… the neighbors)! Do what you’d really love to do and do it the way you like it. Enjoy yourself… enjoy your partner… enjoy your pleasure… your love and relationship… every second of it… every little bit of it, because life’s absolutely wonderful and wasting it pondering over what others may think, see, tell, imagine… is a crime – a crime to yourself, a crime to your partner and… a crime to your love!

Let your mother’s advices and your father’s warnings stay out of your bedroom. Deal? Can’t hear you… I still can’t hear you!!! Okay, that’s much better now. What concerns the whole bunch of other complexes – screw them too!!! The only thing that you have to keep in mind is – life is beautiful and it’s all yours. You are what you are and your partner loves you exclusively for that, then, in this case, why should you change or restrict yourself to giving and receiving the pleasure you really deserve?

Best sex is… safe sex!

If you can take responsibility in day by day situations and business affairs then do it so in the bedroom as well. Yes, I know your partner looks extremely hot and utterly sexy, but you tell me, please, are you that sure he or she is not infected with any type of venereal disease, which in a couple of moments, thanks to certain circumstances and the holy love chemistry, may be one of your best friends too?

Your partner’s appearance or/and outfit has absolutely nothing to do with what is happening on the molecular level inside his/her body, this goes first of all. Secondly, in many of the cases it can turn out that the infected person doesn’t know himself/herself about the viruses he or she is carrying, as a lot of infections do not show any side effects. So, I’m really begging you – be careful and, as it was said earlier, responsible.

So, in order to avoid, or delay, or postpone any visits to venereologist it’s better [actually, highly recommended] to opt for safe sex. In men’s case, the male partner has to wear a condom when he’s not that sure about the lady he’s going to spend the night with, and, on the other hand, ladies always have to ask their partners to use condoms and even insist on that in some certain cases. Besides being a good “protection from unexpected guests” it is also a contraceptive item, remember that? And don’t pay attention when he’s telling you something like: “Honey, I can do better without these rubber friends.”, or “Come on baby, these condoms ruin all the fun!”, or “Either you choose sex without condoms or no sex at all!” Don’t listen to that and don’t put at risk your personal health. Safe sex is above everything.

Speak out your sex preferences

Discuss your sex secrets and erotic fantasies as much as possible, as frequently as you can and always add that amount of lustful enthusiasm that will keep your mutual desire, sexual instinct and prolific interest towards fascinating sex alive. If you give back that emotional feedback to your partner, concerning all the aspects of your sex life, with all those hidden secrets that you’d love to happen more and more often and, on the other hand, all the frustrating details that make your desire be less and less obvious and natural, then your partner has in his/her sexual arsenal the most powerful weapon – he/she knows WHAT YOU WANT.

This information flow will definitely provide him/her with an impressive doze of self-confidence and help him/her to make your sexual desires come true. But, be prepared to do the vice-verse!

Don’t be afraid… [ladies only…]

If only men know what happens inside a woman’s mind during sex, they would definitely have their jaw talking to the side-walk. Female conscience keeps constantly searching for “serious and important” disturbing thoughts while having sex, such as: unnatural and obsolete make-up style, awkward and funny bra or lingerie set, the WRONG angle, inappropriate illumination, goofy hair-do… and everything else from the same category rather than simply relaxing and enjoying the sex itself.

Ladies, you can hardly believe that but, when a man is having sex he’s thinking of… SEX and how to satisfy your partner, meaning you. Everything else from the list that was mentioned above like your hairs, make-ups, nails, starving children in Africa, tornados in Florida and Olympic Games in Vancouver come late on. That being said, don’t be afraid of looking natural and the way you really are. Get that lesson learned. Case closed.

Don’t rape yourself

If you don’t want at that very moment to have sex when you partner wants it as hell, just explain him you don’t want it (we’ve got to agree that in majority of the cases men are so freaking inpatient). There’s no need for you to force your body do what it is reluctant to do. Otherwise, sex is going to become a… pain in the arse rather than… a pleasure in the vagina. If he refuses to understand you, that’s already his problem but a loving and a caring man will always understand his woman.

On the other hand, you can give him a chance to seduce you and make you want him. Let him… sweat a little bit. No pain no gain. Who knows, maybe you don’t want it right now but in, let’s say 15 minutes, you’re going to feel the other way around. You’re going to crave for sex.

Escape from routine

Nothing kills sex better than monotonous way of doing it. Same town, same bedroom, same couch… same barking dogs, same peeping pervert teenage neighbor and same snoring symphonies of your mother in law. Holy crap!

Get you sexual creativity work for a successful relationship. Be more spontaneous and from time to time improvise… make love on the back seat of your car in a dim place of a parking lot, do it in elevators, changing rooms of local malls, park bench during the twilight… you do the math and pick a place from your own fantasies.

These advices could be helpful for those who really care and worry about their relationships and partners, otherwise, wishing you a happy 3 minute missionary sex… in same town… same neighborhood… same bedroom…

Now, after my recent posts everyone of you, guys, know that there’s nothing worse than silence during sex, except the premature “detonation” of course, but have you ever asked yourself what do you say when the pleasure takes over and your emotions are just craving to say something… anything, depicting how marvelously and outstandingly well you have felt?

I didn’t pay too much attention myself on that matter but as I came across such a forum thread the other day, I got interested in what other people say, what my current partner say, as well as what my ex-es used to say and how, actually, am I doing at this chapter?

There are many typical phrases or words we keep saying during sex and as we reach the boiling point, such as: “Oh, yeah…” or “Oh My Lord!!!” but there are also some brilliant exceptions that some homo sapiens whisper, muter, say or yell when the job is over. In order to get you more interested in today’s topic, I’d like to invite you to this “Kinky Phrases That I Say When I Come” Show! Fasten your seatbelts.

* AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!
* Thank you.
* The exchange rate of the national currency is constantly falling down… our ex-president is one sick son of a bitch… and how come you’re wearing that red dress when there’s absolutely nothing in the fridge???
* Gimme some more!!!
* I don’t say anything… I just burry the corpse…
* I usually come with the phrase: “seventeen thousands eight hundred ninety nine…”
* Now all I need is to take a piss and some pop-corn!
* I usually stick to saying compliments to my partner how good she was.
* BOOM!!!
* Anything else, madam?
* NEXT!
* GO GO GO!!! Russians are just around the corner!!!
* F*ck-tas-tic!
* I say everything that comes to my mind at that very moment and what’s more interesting is that the gynecologist always agrees.
* Ja…ja… naturlich! [especially when we’re having sex with our camera ON, lol]
* Don’t really pay attention to that but the last thing I clearly remember myself saying was: “Attention! We attack!”
* As far as I remember I don’t speak too much when I come. I just tenderly bite my wife’s neck. She doesn’t mind it.
* Thank you is not enough??? You owe me now 50$, darling. [ROFL]
* I don’t speak to a hand…
* Well, it depends how drunk I am. I can scream and curse or, vice-verse, say nothing at all. But sometimes I say: “Thanks God, you managed at least once to finish what you’ve started”
* Cum loaded! Mission accomplished..
* Thanks a bunch! Come over again.
* Depends on the vowel that’s spinning in my head: Uuuuuuu…. Oooooo… Aaaaaaa…. Eeeeeee…
* Will you get off me or you’re gonna keep laying there for ever???
* I’m going to take a shower, the bathroom is yours – meet you there
* I just punch her when I come.
* At first I say: “Oh shit! Where the hell are my cigarettes?!?!?” and then: “Go freaking shoot your brains off, you freaking pervert!!!” – this last phrase goes to my weird dog after he has watched the whole process.
* Oh shit… Sorry…
* Oops, I did it again…
* I’m coming, baby! I’m coming, baby!!! Yeah… Yeah… Ah… Uh…Oh… AAAAAA!!! SO-R-R-R-Y!!!!! Did you like it?
* I’m don’t talk too much but lately SHE keeps saying one and the same thing when she comes: “Honey, I want that red BMW that we’ve seen a couple of weeks ago.”
* I prefer to listen to what my partner says. Otherwise, if I start talking then I can disclose all the military secrets I know. Roger!
* Yaba-daba-dooooooooooooooooooo!!!
* Das ist fantastisch! Oh, mein Got!
* I’m too busy coming to say anything.
* Last time I remember myself saying something from the Latin quots: “Feci, quod potui, faciant meliora potentes – I have done what I could; those who can will do better.” Or: “Finis coronat opus – The end crowns the work”. Now, after I passed my Latin exam, most probably I’ll start quoting chemical formulas, as chemistry is the next one.
* Thank you for the attention. I’m done.
* [Counter-Strike fan] – Fire in the hole!!! Or… terrorists win… Or… Head shot!
* @… if during sex your partner will whisper you gently: “Baby, I’m coming…” then yell back: “NOT INSIDE, YOU IDIOT!!!” [it's even funnier when the last words are said by the male partner]
* Every time I try to say something my wife bitches everything by saying: “Shut up, I think the cat again opened the door to the baby’s room.”
* GOAL!!! Otherwise… STRIKE!!!
* I don’t really tend to talk during sex, cause I can call him with another name… oops…
* Asta la vista, baby. I’ll be back.
* Class dismissed.
* Now you know what’s gonna happen when you still my apples next time!
* YAHOO!
* First of all I thank her and then ask her name. Afterwards, I say “Good bye” because my mother always taught me to be polite with the ladies.
* Just before the orgasm I usually scream – more! More!! MORE!!!
* “From the reflection of mere erudition, every person is gifted with the abilty to ignore the tendencies of paradoxical thinking…” – even the neighbors come upon hearing these words.
* Belly attack – version1.0!
* I’m Chuck Norris. If you f*ck with me- you f*ck with the best.
* I used to date a guy who, every time before coming, used to say one and the same crap… HERE I AM!!!
* I scream – CONNECT!
* We’re gonna wake up the kids if we scream like that.
* You’ve got mail.
* For SPARTA!!!
* What do I say when I come??? – Nurse, fetch me another bottle, I’ll give you another load… 50$ worth.
* Just his name – sometimes I whisper it, sometimes I scream it, depends on the sex.
* I just love see her enjoying the whole session from A to Z, wordless…
* You Majesty… I’m done!

My friends, I’m also done for today. Keep connected… for SPARTA!!!

… I know you’re about to go like: “Hey, wait a second, Paulo Coelho said that best sex is supposed to last 11 minutes!!!”… and you’re also right.

According to recent sexual researches, perfect sex should last somewhere in between 7 and 13 minutes. More than that, American sexologists also claim that even a 3 minute sexual act is quite enough! This is just the first phase of such a sexual experiment, which is unique in its way and is the pioneer of sex tests that are oriented to discover the optimal duration for a sexual intercourse.

Sex experts, based on new facts, also mentioned that a sexual intercourse of 3-7 minutes can be considered as normal; less than 3 minutes – too short; and, sex lasting more than 13 minutes – too long.

This way, scientists were able to bust one of the most controversial sex myths, which said that: “Best sex is long-lasting sex”. One of the experts involved into the given research, Erik Corte, said: “Such sexual stereotypes are, basically, the main reasons of sexual non-satisfaction, disappointment and frustration. Many male and females consider that the erection of a “normal man” should be long-lasting and that he should be able to have sex all the night long.”

As a result of such confusing and misleading sex stereotypes among all the social layers make a strong, healthy and mentally balanced man lose his self confidence in what concerns sexual power and his ability to satisfy a woman.

One of the next steps, as scientists claim, will be the sex toy experiments to discover the effects of adult toys, in order to draw the parallel lines between the human pleasure and modern technologies.

As a follow up to the previous post, where we got to know the most common and notorious “idiotic mistakes” all the men keep making every now and then in bed, and discussing that with a bunch of my good friends at pint of beer, some salty snacks and, of course, that outstandingly charming conversational ambience with lots of stupid jokes, real life stories, shocking confessions and a specific emotional background, where I was able to read in my female friend’s eyes something like: “This is SO true… Every man got to understand that!”, whereas the boys’ minds were going like: “Man, cut the bullshit and get yourself another beer. Tomorrow Lakers play the decisive game”.

Inspired by the topic, one of them told me that there are, actually, more scenarios in the sex department when a woman can go mad with her partner. And, while the fellows started to go deeper and deeper into the details of the upcoming game and other girls, ignoring all the rest, even the handsome bar tender, went back to the shopping therapy talk, recalling that seasonal discounts period is still on and the fact that there is a couple of new shops they still haven’t visited this year, the two of us unconsciously made up our minds to carry on the taboo chat.

So, I reckon it is the right time to share her points of view and take a look at those intimate details from the reverse angle, where the beautiful and anxious mind of a woman lives.

When men don’t talk

Besides the fact a man doesn’t drop a single word during lovemaking, he acts like a KGB agent. [You may think that your bedroom looks more like a Death Row cell, where silence is something inevitable and, what’s worse, inescapable.] He doesn’t show any signs of passion and pleasure during the whole intercourse and even during the orgasm, leaving aside such trifle as saying a couple of nice and sweet words, sharing his feelings or revealing his fantasies and hidden secret desires. That makes a woman lock her feelings.

Man who talks too much

He talks… and talks… and talks… but what comes out of his mouth is TOTALLY different than a woman would expect her partner to say during intimate moments. This is the case when the phrase: “You say at best when you say nothing at all” has its sense.

Some weird characters and, at the same time, sexual heroes with phenomenal oratorical abilities take the role of sport commentators and comment the whole “game”, paying attention to all the possible little details like off sides, tackles, unfair play and remaining time. They comment what they are doing at that very moment, what they are going to do next and they’ve done 10 minutes ago. At the same time, they somehow manage to turn their one-way comments into a dialogue. Alas, he’s talking not to you but to his mental organ from down-stairs.

The fun doubles in case the male’s supreme organ (not the brains, of course) has a nick name. Ladies who got tickets to such a show for the first time hysterically start looking under the blanket for someone called Charley the Unicorn or Clint Long-Wood.

The immortal stupidity of “Did you come yet, dear?”…

… and if you think this is the most ridiculous question for that moment, then you’re damn wrong! Afterwards comes the criminal one which is placed on the peak of sexual stupidity: “No?!?!? When, then, are you going to?”

The only effective remedy that a woman can do in this specific, but rather frequently met, situation is to ask her partner the same question, just for the sake of keeping sexual dialogue alive. For example, a woman can do it just before she intends to offer him some oral sex. He’s going to be quite surprised and afterwards, realizing how ridiculous this sounds to a female every time he’s asking it, feel a bit nervous and embarrassed but this is, as I mentioned, is one effective approach to get over it for the ladies, according to my friend’s words.

The porn is all around us (men)

- How about watching a movie together, honey!
- Sure!!! What we’re going to watch???
- Whatever, what’s rated as XXX.
- Again…???

Porn is really something that no man can get rid of that easily. “Yeah, baby”, “Who’s your daddy?” and all this porno stuff keeps spinning around in our heads when it comes to sex. And, every time when she agrees to watch an X-rated movie with you, having her head lying on your lap, in a few minutes she gets bored and the only thing that comes up to her mind is to ask you: “Ist das enough fantastisch for you mein Fuhrer?” and then, a couple of seconds later, add… “Hitler kaput!”

The cunnilingus sound effects

The sounds some men make while offering their partners oral pleasure either make ladies laugh and roll on the floor like crazy hamsters or cringe in disgust, recalling the weird horror movie they’ve seen last week. Moreover, sounds are not the only effects that can make a woman lose her temper, in both meanings of the expression, good and bad.

My friend told me that once, while going through a forum thread on a similar subject, she came a cross a brilliant post, which said: “I was enjoying what my partner was doing down there with my eyes closed. It was fantastic, to put it short, till I opened my eyes. While he was lying on his stomach and doing the job, he was also fluttering his feet just like a little kid that’s lying on the beach or, otherwise, in the middle of a chamomile meadow! And he’s doing this every time while offering cunnilingus – all I can think during these moments is not to open my eyes, because otherwise I burst into paranoiac laughs!!!”

“The faster – the better” syndrome

Probably, this problem is related to either his general health state or subconscious aspect of sex. Maybe, it happens either because of the young age or this is the first sex after two years of sex abstinence, nevertheless, one fact is clear – IT HAPPENS!!! And, we’re talking not about the premature ejaculation at this point, we’re talking about the “fast and furious” type of sex. The faster, the better – think men. Women don’t think so at all… More than that, a woman can’t stand that, unless she’s a sexual monster!

Why men are so spontaneous???

Well, at some starting moment of a relationship, women like spontaneous sex but, as time passes by, they are becoming more and more annoyed with that and tempted by classic sex. They now prefer to stick to well-settled methods of lovemaking: agreeable and relaxing ambience, a couple of candles burning on the bookshelves, romantic music, flower petals, cozy sofa… and all the other erotic details, about which, I’m more than sure, you know it yourselves pretty well, my friends.

So, as you can understand, too much spontaneity also does not add kudos to a man’s ego from a female’s point of view. In some cases, due to an incredible sexual impulsivity of a male, a woman doesn’t get into her bedroom for weeks and months. Nevertheless, she gets her doze of sex in elevators, local parks, bus stations, locker rooms, shopping malls, restaurant toilets, kitchen table, etc.

Of course, it is wonderful but, as I said, till certain extension. Also, these “quickies” do not offer a woman the sensations and pleasure she would expect from a sex session with her partner, leaving aside the orgasm.

Turning sex into routine rituals

In the morning those “special” glances… During the day time bunches of short messages which sound more or less like: “I’m gonna lick you from top till toes when I get back home. You’ll be my Esmeralda and I’m gonna be you love beast tonight.”… And here comes evening – dinner, dish washing process, the TV is switched off and we start our foreplay with bites and licks. [Yeah, I also thought this turns them on but it doesn’t, actually.]

Another scenario that she mentioned is: morning – a kiss accompanied with that strong smell of aftershave lotion; day time – silence, when nothing happens; evening – switched off TV set and “Come here, baby!”. And what’s worst and most depressing for a lady in this situation is the fact that she knows exactly what next 10-15 minutes are going to be like, till every little detail. Hence, be more imaginative!

Lack of mutual understanding and spiritual harmony

Directly speaking it is the case when the man doesn’t understand his female partner. He doesn’t even want to go into too many details and life trifles to find out her needs, desires, secrets, requirements, listen to her contemplations, musings, problems, plans for the future so on and so forth.

These moments are also reflected in the sex department. You’re making love and ask your partner whether she’s enjoying the time and, after a long pause, she replies: “Yeah… sure…” but it is a clear sign that there is a BIG problem on your sex life radar. You know it, because you feel it.

It turns into a real dilemma when you’re not more attracted by your partner as much as you used to be during the dating stage of your relationship or the first years of marriage. The only advice that can make any sense here is to find the reason of your misunderstandings and bring the passion back into your love affair to re-ignite the flame of pure and eternal love.

Getting horny in the morning

Some of men consider morning sex better than anything else in the world – it’s true. I love it as well. Women, however, are not SO enthusiastic about it. And, no matter how many positive articles about morning sex they have read in women’s magazines, revealing that sex in the morning is better than any morning exercises and they can burn twice and thrice more calories by doing that, many of them are still reluctant to do that, either they are just still sleepy or lazy, which is also an option.

Since when passion means pain???

Sometimes, when the passion takes over our minds and makes us lose control, we behave like filthy beasts. Well, at least they claim so. They say we confusingly mix up their nipples with screws and keep screwing and screwing their nipples till they lose their consciousness.

Also, sometimes our kisses feel more like bites, our touches feel more like slaps and scratches and the story of brutal comparisons can go on and on. What can I say? Nothing! Yeah, men do have such sexual spasms but that’s the way we are and periodically we fall under the control of basic animal instincts.

The holly land of anal sex

It’s true – 99.99% of men want anal sex, whereas, on the other hand, 99.99% of women avoid it. Moreover, they start to cringe even when they’ve accidentally heard that word combination. And, if it comes out of your mouth – you’re public enemy #1.

It’s better not to avoid conversations on this given taboo topic but to share your views on what is what regarding anal play. Find out why she is so reluctant to do that and why she is so afraid of anal fun if she’s never tied it.

Maybe it is a good idea to start exploring anal sex by means of special sex toys and watching some educative films about anal play. That would definitely give you more reliable and interesting information about backdoor play and could put a delightful end to this conflict between you and your partner, thus making you a happy couple in all aspects of your sex life.

Sex is good but good sex is better! We often speak about sex like it’s our best friend: “Hey, do you know sex? Yeah, sex is cool! Sex is super fly! Sex is my man! I like my sex X-rated like I like my funk…” We spend a lot of our precious time on improving our sex skills and learning new and original techniques on how to seduce and please our partners.

We also pay much attention to the quality and frequency of sex, much more than enough. Sex has a huge influence on our health and mood. And, of course, like in any other life dimension it occurs that we make mistakes during love making. Periodically we, men, forget about elementary things that every man should keep in mind before, during and after sex. Things that will increase a woman’s pleasure and will make a man become her best lover in the world. Neglecting these unwritten sex rules we diminish a females pleasure, desire to sexual intercourse and even make her feel reluctant about sex. Do you want that??? Yeah, me neither… Hence, let’s see what are the most frequent mistakes men happen to make BEFORE, DURING OR/AND AFTER sex and combine it with some advices for our female partners.

1. Where the f*ck is foreplay???

Ladies, first of all, always complain that there’s not enough foreplay before the intercourse itself but it’s hard to change anything about it, because this is the way we, men, are. Tenderness is, of course, what we should always remember and take care about but isn’t a couple of kisses before sex and one after quite enough for you, my dear ladies? We can also squeeze your nipples for more tenderness. Okay… okay… I, on behalf of the entire mankind, apologies for acting like gorillas in the bedroom and, hence, acknowledging that this is one of the major mistakes we happen to make over and over. Sorry.

It’s hard to change us but it’s not impossible. One easy way to do that is avoiding the intercourse itself and thus prolonging the foreplay time. Your male partner is going to face some hard times during first sessions but, as time passes by and you keep teaching him and enlightening him what is what in sex from a woman’s perspectives, he’s going to love the new rules. Do this in a very delicate and special way so he understands that there’s no reason to rush. Festina lente – as our roman ancestors would say. Also, he’s got to understand from your body signals that you’re not rejecting him or refusing to sleep with him. Your signs should clearly let him know that you want to play a little bit longer than usually, so, tease him carefully and passionately. He’ll have the lesson learned quite soon.

It is much more difficult when you face the vice-verse situation – when he is obsessed with foreplay. He keeps caressing you over and over, even when you’re already prepared for sex… and even when you’re already smoke the after sex cigarette… and even when you’re already fallen asleep afterwards… He cuddles and kisses you even in the morning when you go to brush you teeth, as he knows for sure that a good foreplay leads to good sex… but for f*ck’s sake tell him to just freaking stop, because good in this situation does not mean long and time taking. Of course you’re going to do it, also, in a delicate way, so, you don’t damage his fragile mind.

2. Silent hill

Unlike men, women prefer a love game to be accompanied by appropriate words of passion. They keep whispering to their male partners all the naughty and trivial things that come up to their minds during the intercourse, sigh with delight, some of them scream and give ridiculous and funny comments with every occasion they feel like they need to express themselves but the body language is just not enough. And, in case they don’t feel any emotional and verbal feedback they think that their male partners do not enjoy sex the same way they do.

Men and women are absolutely different creatures. Women are from Venus, whereas men are from Mars – we should always keep that in our minds. It is a law of nature that women tend to speak more in order to feel emotionally comfortable with themselves, while men live on the opposite pole, in this regard, and to change them would be, at least, strange.

However, if the male partner is REALLY silent and wordless during sex than there’s absolutely something wrong, because sighs and other body signs are natural reactions during sex and should come by default. One lovely way to make a man freely express himself is THE BLINDFOLD GAME, as once he’s got his eyes covered he can’t visually read the expressions on his partner’s face, thus a communication between the two partners is conceived.

If this game will not bring any positive results then don’t insist any further. Maybe his “gorilla nature” does not allow him to express his feelings, considering this a weak point for a real man and, sort of, girly attribute.

3. Falling asleep straight away after sex

There’s nothing more humiliating for a woman than that… from a woman’s point of view, of course. Falling asleep right away after the intercourse makes her feel like she’s been used like an object, by means of which the man just got what he was looking for. And now, totally satisfied, he can fully relax and go to sleep.

Let’s, first of all, try to figure out WHY it happens. A lot of women after sex feel like they need to talk about trivial and routine stuff, whereas men just feel reluctant to talking on those subjects, especially after a good sex. Their “fast falling asleep” means nothing more than: “Come on honey, we just had such a marvelous time together and now you want me to talk about you father’s diarrhea.”

Try to avoid such conversations and make the after sex time look like the “2nd episode” of the passionate intercourse we’ve been enjoying together a couple of minutes ago. A perfect way out would be if the woman carries on caressing her partner even after sex, kissing him and telling him how good he was. To make the “2nd episode” even more playful and delicate, you can mention that, according to statistics, caressing each other after sex, in 82%, is as delightful and peachy as it is during foreplay.

4. Bring on the light!

While women prefer having sex in a more romantic ambience, with candles burning and shadows dancing, men love doing it with all the lights on, in order to see the whole process and enjoy their partners not only physically but visually as well. However, this turns into a problem for women, as they seem to feel embarrassed when having the lights on or making love during daylight.

Gentlemen, we have to understand that when the lights are off our female partners can fully relax and quit thinking about how “awful” and “clumsy” they look during these moments of sexual bliss or in certain sex positions. They really think about it every time they’re having sex. Thus, when they got stuffed their minds with anything else than passion, sexuality and vibes of amour, they get mentally blocked and the whole game of love turns into nightmare for both partners.

So, next time when you’re intending something original in the bedroom, turn off the lights and turn on your imagination. Remember, visual aspect is an important point for us but we have to think what your woman’s preferences are. When a woman is relaxed and when she is not disturbed with any other thoughts rather than passionate sex, she can feel the bliss of emotional and sexual freedom and come to ultimate pleasure point much faster and with greater desire. In such moments her pleasure is supreme. It is above all our wicked desires.

5. Sprinter sex Vs. Marathon sex

This one is rather controversial as it depends not on the person but on biorhythmic disbalance between men and women, as not every man likes having sex for hours or, vice-verse, just a couple of minutes. You’d say: “More is anyway better than less.”, nevertheless, again, not in such situations.

To make the fun last longer you can combine frictions with oral sex or gentle and tender touches. That will help to postpone the moment of ejaculation and also add a little bit of spice into the game. You can also use a sex toy, which can intensify her sensations and increase the power of orgasm.

To make the intercourse time shorter you can be a little bit more sexually aggressive and faster in frictions. A vibrating adult toy would also be pretty useful in such situation, as a vibrators possess that inexplicable magic ingredient, which can make any woman orgasm in seconds.

6. Who cares about contraception?

Yes, we think more about sex and less about contraception… very much less, to be honest. We come to think that sex is all about pleasure, whereas contraception is not a big deal.

We get all excited during the foreplay that we lose our freaking minds thinking of what is going to happen next, which involuntarily makes us forget about contraception. However, on the other hand, it is so great that we have you, our dear ladies, who keep in mind that a pleasurable sex is a safe sex. So, thank you very much indeed for recalling us about it every time we forget to buy a condom.

7. Too quick or too slow

Very often, during sex, it seems that you both speak two different languages: she wants it slow, like the motion of the ocean; he wants it fast and furious or vice-verse, she wants him to move like a crazy, wild and stubborn mustang, while he’s keen to do the “snail dance”.

That’s why, sometimes when you have sex she puts her hands on your hips and dictates the rhythm and frequency of frictions. For the first time it might seem strange to you but keep in mind – this is how she likes it! And, if you really care about your woman’s pleasure more than your personal sex whims, then, besides being a loving person, you’re a very wise sex companion. Women appreciate that a lot!

8. Too much porn in our heads!!!

You’ve seen so much porn movies and explicit X-rated scenes in your life that you want all of them to turn into reality. Day and night you dream about anal sex, oral sex, trying weird sex positions that look more like yoga instructions, using all sorts of adult toys and other piquant sex accessories, etc. You want all these in your personal life right now… BUT… when it comes to sex and you want to try all this stuff, she just says: “No way!!!”

The pervert that dwells inside us, which is so freaking obsessed with porn, now and then keeps buzzing us off with phrases like: “Hey, dude! You give her love and attention, you buy her jewelries and sexy lingerie, you take out her dog and do the laundry, whereas you lazy bitch refuses to offer you so little like… sex on the roof. Others enjoy that crazy stuff day by day! Find yourself a real woman who will treat you like a king!”

Don’t go mad and don’t panic if she’s reluctant to do that. Try to understand that sex for a woman is not just a mere physical contact but also an emotional moment, when she has to be relaxed and in full harmony with her inner world. You’ll get what you’re looking for later on if you have enough patience and wait for the right time. Pull yourselves together and don’t push things too hard. It will come by itself.

9. The Temple of Penis

The great majority of men pay way too much attention to their penises! That’s a fact.

Look how big and gorgeous he is!
He is unbelievable, isn’t it honey?
I think he’s bigger than Washington obelisk!
My penis is hard enough to crack diamonds!!!
On your knees woman and worship my penis!!!!!

It is better when such comments come from a woman rather from yourself, don’t you think so?

10. Honey, when are you going to shave?

I, like many other men, just hate to shave but I have to do it for the sake of my woman’s pleasure. Now, I gotta pull yourself together, take the shaving foam and your Gillette 4 and go to the bathroom, as what I’m going to do next is cunni…

… Ola!